Stacey, Lian Fen, Lian Mei and I all have good fortune to be brought together as a family. Many people have told us that we are "doing a good thing" by adopting, but the reality is that we fulfilling our desire to raise children and this self-serving pursuit has the nice side effect of providing our future children with parents who really want them and will take care of them.
At the same time as we are very excited (and presumably Fen and Mei have no idea what is in store for them shortly) there is also an element of loss. Most notably, they will be losing everything that is familiar to them, including food, smells, sounds and people we hope have cared for them well. It is also a loss for their biological families. We have no idea about their relatives, but we have learned a lot about the difficult choice that many women must make in giving up their babies. In many cases it is the greatest act of kindness for the children, even though it must be wrenching.
We hope to honor Fen and Mei's biological family as they grow up. It will certainly be a challenging concept for them to grasp, but it is important for us to allow for their multiple identities as being part of our family and having roots and connections in China, even if they are unknown.
So, along with our shared good fortune comes some loss.
This blog is about our adoption of Lucia Lian Mei and Clara Lian Fen.
No comments:
Post a Comment