I am a complete novice at this, but I took a few short video clips of the girls in China and have taken some additional ones more recently. I am uploading them to YouTube, so hopefully you can click on the link below to view them for a multimedia extravaganza.
This first one is a video from a park we visited in Nanchang, China. I (Nick) was taping as a crowd gathered around us to look at the girls. People were always very enthusiastic and seemed very happy for all of us. You can see people gesturing from one baby to the other as they realize they are twins. You cannot see Clara since she was strapped to my chest, except for a quick glimpse of her sun hat.
http://youtu.be/1Oq19E5Simo
More to come shortly.
This blog is about our adoption of Lucia Lian Mei and Clara Lian Fen.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Friday, June 28, 2013
Seeking attention
Just as we all knew would happen, poor Maggie is getting the short end of the stick, at least in comparison to how she had it before.
She and the girls actually now have a nice relationship and Maggie tends to check on them frequently and you can see her respond when she hears them crying. She enjoys being nearby and will come up to the girls from time to time for a sniff. It is sweet. Especially since they cannot yet chase her and she can always make a quick exit.
She is also being pretty needy with us. She gets a little upset when we leave and got into some unusual mischief yesterday while we had our visitors.
Maybe for a bit of attention, she got ahold of a diaper of the nastiest variety, which was on its way to the garbage can, and tore it apart on our outdoor deck when we were inside. Stacey had the misfortune of picking up the diaper pieces and also giving Maggie a bath. Hopefully this will not become habitual - we are certainly going to guard such diapers more carefully in the future.
She and the girls actually now have a nice relationship and Maggie tends to check on them frequently and you can see her respond when she hears them crying. She enjoys being nearby and will come up to the girls from time to time for a sniff. It is sweet. Especially since they cannot yet chase her and she can always make a quick exit.
She is also being pretty needy with us. She gets a little upset when we leave and got into some unusual mischief yesterday while we had our visitors.
Maybe for a bit of attention, she got ahold of a diaper of the nastiest variety, which was on its way to the garbage can, and tore it apart on our outdoor deck when we were inside. Stacey had the misfortune of picking up the diaper pieces and also giving Maggie a bath. Hopefully this will not become habitual - we are certainly going to guard such diapers more carefully in the future.
Part of the pleasure
While the center of our attention is unquestionably the girls, it has also been really fun for me to see Stacey developing her bond with the girls and for us to figure out how we get things done together.
Stacey has an amazing balance of being very aware of both the physical and emotional needs of the girls while also keeping things organized and practical. She is so sweet with them. She sings to them, reads, talks with them a lot with the intention of building their verbal skills, laughs with and at them, wipes their noses and other parts, chooses their outfits carefully, thinks about what blanket will be most comforting, always worries that they are not getting enough to eat (which I can assure you they are), makes sure she is spending as much time as possible holding both of the girls and just adores them.
Stacey and I have always been able to find common interests through the years of our relationship, which has made it stronger and fun for us. I am so glad the kids are also a shared interest and that we are able to experience this time together and continue to grow, now as a family.
Stacey has an amazing balance of being very aware of both the physical and emotional needs of the girls while also keeping things organized and practical. She is so sweet with them. She sings to them, reads, talks with them a lot with the intention of building their verbal skills, laughs with and at them, wipes their noses and other parts, chooses their outfits carefully, thinks about what blanket will be most comforting, always worries that they are not getting enough to eat (which I can assure you they are), makes sure she is spending as much time as possible holding both of the girls and just adores them.
Stacey and I have always been able to find common interests through the years of our relationship, which has made it stronger and fun for us. I am so glad the kids are also a shared interest and that we are able to experience this time together and continue to grow, now as a family.
A visit from cousins Betsy and Peter and Great Aunt Janet
Yesterday we had the pleasure of a visit from my cousin Betsy, her son Peter and my Aunt Janet. Betsy lives in Baltimore, so it is nice for us to easily come for visits. It was especially nice that Aunt Janet is in town and was able to come as well.
As is obvious from the photo below, Peter is one of the most adorable kids. He is just beautiful and has a very mellow personality. Clara and Lucia were very excited to see him and I think he was a little more reserved in his enthusiasm for them. I am sure that over time they are going to have a lot of fun together.
Before we went to China, or were even matched with the girls, Betsy always said that we would raise Peter and our daughter as twins. Little did we know that we would be looking at triplets and that there are some striking similarities. Our girls are pretty laid back as well and all three of them have beautiful, curly hair.
For some reason we lost a number of photos we took with our camera yesterday. But Betsy sent this one along to us, with Peter enduring attention and admiration from his new cousins.
As is obvious from the photo below, Peter is one of the most adorable kids. He is just beautiful and has a very mellow personality. Clara and Lucia were very excited to see him and I think he was a little more reserved in his enthusiasm for them. I am sure that over time they are going to have a lot of fun together.
Before we went to China, or were even matched with the girls, Betsy always said that we would raise Peter and our daughter as twins. Little did we know that we would be looking at triplets and that there are some striking similarities. Our girls are pretty laid back as well and all three of them have beautiful, curly hair.
For some reason we lost a number of photos we took with our camera yesterday. But Betsy sent this one along to us, with Peter enduring attention and admiration from his new cousins.
Making progress
I don't want to jinx anything, but we had a good night last night and are hoping for the same tonight. The girls slept through from 7:30 until I woke them up at 7:00 this morning, except for when they cried and we gave them bottles shortly after midnight. That is infinitely better than the pattern we had been in for a while.
Lucia Mei was a little fussy this evening, but we think she is teething quite a bit now, so that may be the reason. Clara Fen is in good spirits and it looks like she is starting to pick up on the bye-bye game, both in a little hand movement and making sounds. Very cute!
Although we did not take any outings today, we did have a little more pool time. This time they were both more modestly attired since we were using the front yard. They really love splashing around. The pool is just the perfect size. We had to cut the party short since we started to hear thunder and it began to rain.
Since these photos seem to be winners, I will put a couple more in of them from today's activities.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Some fun activities
We are still in a rough patch with jet lag, but for the most part things are going well. Clara actually slept through the night last night, but Lucia and I spent a number of hours bonding and wearing down the wood floors.
Yesterday we made our pilgrimage to Target and had a pretty easy time of it. They are pretty easy to entertain at this point, so no matter what we do they seem interested. They also don't seem to mind being in car seats or their strollers, so that is helpful. I was going to take a photo in front of Target, but missed out on that since it was hot out and we just didn't think of it in the moment.
One of our items to purchase was a small swimming pool for them to splash around in. Unfortunately, when we got home and I inflated it and started to put water in, I found that the water was leaking out only slightly slower than I was able to put it in. We had been planning to do so anyway, but I went over to the YMCA and upgraded us to a family membership. We spent a while in the afternoon at the pool and, just as they did in China, the girls loved it. They seem very comfortable and love to kick their legs. The Y offers swim classes, so that might be nice for us to do together. Again, too distracted with taking care of them to snap any photos. But...
This morning I went to CVS and still had in mind that a little pool might be fun for them and easy if we didn't have enough time to get to the YMCA. So, for less than $10 we purchased our second pool in two days. The girls loved it and it held water for the entire time they used it.
Skinny dipping is allowed in our backyard, as long as you are a cute infant.
We are hoping for longer sleep tonight and we are looking forward to a visit from their cousins Betsy and Peter and Great Aunt Janet tomorrow.
Yesterday we made our pilgrimage to Target and had a pretty easy time of it. They are pretty easy to entertain at this point, so no matter what we do they seem interested. They also don't seem to mind being in car seats or their strollers, so that is helpful. I was going to take a photo in front of Target, but missed out on that since it was hot out and we just didn't think of it in the moment.
One of our items to purchase was a small swimming pool for them to splash around in. Unfortunately, when we got home and I inflated it and started to put water in, I found that the water was leaking out only slightly slower than I was able to put it in. We had been planning to do so anyway, but I went over to the YMCA and upgraded us to a family membership. We spent a while in the afternoon at the pool and, just as they did in China, the girls loved it. They seem very comfortable and love to kick their legs. The Y offers swim classes, so that might be nice for us to do together. Again, too distracted with taking care of them to snap any photos. But...
This morning I went to CVS and still had in mind that a little pool might be fun for them and easy if we didn't have enough time to get to the YMCA. So, for less than $10 we purchased our second pool in two days. The girls loved it and it held water for the entire time they used it.
Skinny dipping is allowed in our backyard, as long as you are a cute infant.
We are hoping for longer sleep tonight and we are looking forward to a visit from their cousins Betsy and Peter and Great Aunt Janet tomorrow.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Slowly adjusting
The girls are still not nearly on east coast time, so we have a pretty tired household. Lucia was up from 1:00a.m. - 5:30 a.m., so Stacey and I were as well. We actually had a pretty good day with naps, so we are hoping tonight might be a little better. Apart from a successful family outing to Target, not much to report. Therefore, just a few recent photos to share:
Here are Clara (left) and Lucia enjoying some beautiful handmade gifts from their cousin Alice Reynolds.
Here is a cute shot of Clara with Maggie in the background. Maggie has been staying close to all of us, and taking the opportunity to get sniffs in when the girls are not paying attention. She is also now fully aware of the sounds indicating the girls are in their high chairs and scraps could fall at any moment - and they do.
And some action shots of them playing with some favorite toys.
Here is one from when we were still in China, but it's worth throwing in.
Here are Clara (left) and Lucia enjoying some beautiful handmade gifts from their cousin Alice Reynolds.
Here is a cute shot of Clara with Maggie in the background. Maggie has been staying close to all of us, and taking the opportunity to get sniffs in when the girls are not paying attention. She is also now fully aware of the sounds indicating the girls are in their high chairs and scraps could fall at any moment - and they do.
And some action shots of them playing with some favorite toys.
Here is one from when we were still in China, but it's worth throwing in.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Tough adjustments
We have been back home four full days now, but I would not say we are settled in at all, yet. It has been a tough adjustment, especially since the girls are still clinging to their native time zone, 12 hours ahead of ours.
We have put them down each night and they have slept well from about 8:00 or so until after midnight. They still think that was their morning nap and they should get up to enjoy the day. So, each night they have been awake for a number of hours, despite any amount of convincing we have tried to show them it is night out and they should be asleep.
We have been able to get them to go to sleep if we hold them, but as soon as we walk within a six foot radius of a crib the wailing ensues and there is no resting. Even in a deep sleep they can somehow sense the forcefield around their cribs.
I think we are making progress, but it has been tough on all of us since we all came home with colds and just the trip itself is exhausting.
On Thursday, the afternoon after we arrived home, we brought the girls to the pediatrician, in part just for a first appointment and also to make sure they were ok in relation to their colds. That was not a fun first outing for them. They both needed three vaccines, which seemed like a piece of cake in compaison to the attempts to draw blood. The tech tried first on Clara with no success and then the physician came and tried to find a vein. Not successful, they moved on to Lucia with another failed attempt. It was awful to watch and to hold them still while the doctor tried to get the needle in. Clara cried so much she ended up falling asleep while the doctor was finishing up. Poor thing. Now they have to go back in two weeks to try again.
The good news is that they have good body mass and that is why it was hard to find a vein. They are very similar in size and I think they are just below average in weight and just above average for height, unless I am reversing the two. Anyway, the pediatrician said that she thinks they are very healthy and seem to have perfectly normal development for their age. We are so thankful for that since it is very unusual for adoptive kids coming from China to be at the same developmental stage as most other kids.
Apart from that we have just been spending time at home, getting accustomed to the new environment and taking nice stroller walks around the neighborhood.
Maggie is starting to get settled back in as well. I know it was a big shock for her when we all came home. She had been in a kennel for the past two weeks and then she was greeted by two girls who screamed in terror every time they saw her for the first 24 hours. This was quite a reversal from what she had been used to with us telling her what a sweet and cute dog she is every time she would come into a room. Thankfully the terror and screaming about her has subsided and the girls are now reaching out to touch her. This morning we were changing diapers and both of the girls were crying, but Maggie came into the room anyway and settled in nearby to observe all the action. I think she will do fine and everyone will acclimate shortly.
Our neighbors have been really kind. Anne, across the street, used a website to schedule people to bring us food every other day. It has been so nice and a great way for people to start to get to know the girls. We have also gotten a really warm reception from people around here who know how long we have been waiting and that we were on our way home. We are fortunate to live in such a nice community.
Stacey and I are talking about a big outing - Target. Of course this will require great planning and precision timing if it is to be a successful mission. Actually, the girls are pretty easy to get around and I am sure they will enjoy being in such a fascinating place. At this point they are still satisfied with a Tupperware lid, so going to a store will be big fun.
Hopefully we will be able to get on a good schedule in the next few days.
We have put them down each night and they have slept well from about 8:00 or so until after midnight. They still think that was their morning nap and they should get up to enjoy the day. So, each night they have been awake for a number of hours, despite any amount of convincing we have tried to show them it is night out and they should be asleep.
We have been able to get them to go to sleep if we hold them, but as soon as we walk within a six foot radius of a crib the wailing ensues and there is no resting. Even in a deep sleep they can somehow sense the forcefield around their cribs.
I think we are making progress, but it has been tough on all of us since we all came home with colds and just the trip itself is exhausting.
On Thursday, the afternoon after we arrived home, we brought the girls to the pediatrician, in part just for a first appointment and also to make sure they were ok in relation to their colds. That was not a fun first outing for them. They both needed three vaccines, which seemed like a piece of cake in compaison to the attempts to draw blood. The tech tried first on Clara with no success and then the physician came and tried to find a vein. Not successful, they moved on to Lucia with another failed attempt. It was awful to watch and to hold them still while the doctor tried to get the needle in. Clara cried so much she ended up falling asleep while the doctor was finishing up. Poor thing. Now they have to go back in two weeks to try again.
The good news is that they have good body mass and that is why it was hard to find a vein. They are very similar in size and I think they are just below average in weight and just above average for height, unless I am reversing the two. Anyway, the pediatrician said that she thinks they are very healthy and seem to have perfectly normal development for their age. We are so thankful for that since it is very unusual for adoptive kids coming from China to be at the same developmental stage as most other kids.
Apart from that we have just been spending time at home, getting accustomed to the new environment and taking nice stroller walks around the neighborhood.
Maggie is starting to get settled back in as well. I know it was a big shock for her when we all came home. She had been in a kennel for the past two weeks and then she was greeted by two girls who screamed in terror every time they saw her for the first 24 hours. This was quite a reversal from what she had been used to with us telling her what a sweet and cute dog she is every time she would come into a room. Thankfully the terror and screaming about her has subsided and the girls are now reaching out to touch her. This morning we were changing diapers and both of the girls were crying, but Maggie came into the room anyway and settled in nearby to observe all the action. I think she will do fine and everyone will acclimate shortly.
Our neighbors have been really kind. Anne, across the street, used a website to schedule people to bring us food every other day. It has been so nice and a great way for people to start to get to know the girls. We have also gotten a really warm reception from people around here who know how long we have been waiting and that we were on our way home. We are fortunate to live in such a nice community.
Stacey and I are talking about a big outing - Target. Of course this will require great planning and precision timing if it is to be a successful mission. Actually, the girls are pretty easy to get around and I am sure they will enjoy being in such a fascinating place. At this point they are still satisfied with a Tupperware lid, so going to a store will be big fun.
Hopefully we will be able to get on a good schedule in the next few days.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Our trip home
So, we arrived back in Washington on Wednesday evening after a long 26-hours in transit.
Wednesday started with an early wake-up at 4:30 to get ourselves ready for a 6:00 departure from Guangzhou to Hong Kong. Our guide, Kathy, helped us out by arranging a van for the 3-hour ride and even put together a bag of some breakfast food for us. That all went smoothly, including crossing the border between Mainland China and Hong Kong.
Both times when we crossed that border the van driver opened the sliding door so the border patrol officer could compare our passport photos to our actual faces. It seems like they have been trained (the US agents did this in Chicago too) to hold up the passport and look at the person next to it. Anyway, we handed over our two U.S. passports and the girls' Chinese passports. Stacey had one girl on her lap and I had the other on mine and the agent's booth was on my side of the van. First he looked at my passport, and confirmed the image matched my face, did the same with Stacey and then as he held up one of the girl's passports he gestured to me to see whose passport he was holding. Of course I had no idea and would not have even really been able to see the passport from that distance. A moment later he realized that he was dealing with twins who look very much alike and his whole face changed with amusement. He did not insist on matching the right passport with the right girl.
As we got out of the van at the Hong Kong airport and started to walk in we suddenly realized that it was the first time since we had arrived in Hong Kong that we did not have someone to call on if we ran into a problem. We had grown accustomed to having a personal support person, so we had to adjust!
Through our bank, we have a membership that gives us access to a limited number of airport clubs, and thankfully one of theme in Hong Kong was available to us. It was great to have a nice place to relax and have some breakfast before we got on the long flight. We found a way to push together two chairs that made somewhat of a playpen for the girls, which actually looks like a tub from the top. It was a perfect space for us to feed them and so they could relax a little without being on the floor.
We were very fortunate with the flight in that we got a bulkhead row (in the front of the cabin) and once we were in the air they put a basinet on the wall. One of the airline employees was especially helpful and she managed to relocate a few different passengers so that we had three seats to ourselves. It is actually prohibited for more than one infant to be seated in a row since for each three seats there are four oxygen masks, but with two infants on laps that makes a total of five passengers. Then you have to make tough decisions about who gets oxygen! So, we were able to sit together since there was an empty seat. Here is a photo of Clara Fen in her basinet:
Lucia Mei had a hard time sleeping, so she ended up in our arms for most of the flight. We did a lot of walking and hoping that she would relax for a little while. For the most part things were pretty good with her, but it is a rough experience to endure in any case.
Based on a suggestion from some other people returning with an adopted daughter, we got a box of chocolates to give to the flight crew when we got on to thank them in advance for their tolerance. It was amazing how thankful they were and throughout the flight they checked-in on us and frequently asked if we needed anything. They even brought us an extra basinet for the floor that turned out to be a fun place for the girls to play when they were not asleep.
The girls officially became U.S. citizens when we arrived in Chicago, so obviously we expected a big ceremony with flags and the national anthem. For the special occasion we decided it would be important to change them out of their dirty diapers before they had their magical moment. When we went to the first guard Stacey asked if we could take a picture of him - the answer was no and he let us know that we actually needed to go to another area for an interview.
We went to a desk and handed over two sealed envelopes of documents (we had been forbidden by the Consulate to look at the documents) to the border guard. He told us to go sit down. About fifteen minutes he came over to us and showed us that he had stamped the girls' passports and he said that they now were eligible for green cards, which would come in the next two weeks. We were a little dumbfounded since they are now U.S. citizens and do not need green cards. Anyway, he said he had just misspoken and everything was alright and they actually are citizens now. It made us a bit uneasy, but after so many hours of travel we decided to just move along and hope that he hadn't messed up the paperwork. We will know in a couple of weeks. But the good news is that if they do get green cards it means they will be eligible to get jobs and start to support the household.
So, in the end, the citizenship moment lacked fanfare, but it was nice to be back in the U.S. and to know that such a major portion of our trip was complete.
We had a couple of hours in the airport. I spent some of that time waiting in line for Garrett's Popcorn (they ran out of cheese popcorn, so it never worked out) and then we were ready to board the flight to DC. That 2-hour flight seemed like a blink of the eye, in comparison. Thankfully, all four of us managed to sleep most of that flight. The woman sitting next to me was very sweet and did not mind that Lucia Mei was hitting her arm early in the flight. When we were about to land I saw that Lucia's head was actually partially resting on the woman's arm and she very gently moved her arm so that she would not wake up Lucia. It was so nice.
My brother Gregory, who lives in Massachusetts, came all the way down to Maryland to help us out with getting home. He made sure the house was OK, he picked up Maggie from the kennel, bought food for us and then came to the airport with our neighbor Scott to bring us home. We needed two cars since our car is full with just the four of us now, not to mention our luggage.
The girls were in a ridiculously good mood for the ordeal they had been through. They were smiling and laughing when they met Gregory and Scott. I think we were in too much of a daze to think of taking pictures at Dulles Airport, so those moments are captured only in our memories.
Wednesday started with an early wake-up at 4:30 to get ourselves ready for a 6:00 departure from Guangzhou to Hong Kong. Our guide, Kathy, helped us out by arranging a van for the 3-hour ride and even put together a bag of some breakfast food for us. That all went smoothly, including crossing the border between Mainland China and Hong Kong.
Both times when we crossed that border the van driver opened the sliding door so the border patrol officer could compare our passport photos to our actual faces. It seems like they have been trained (the US agents did this in Chicago too) to hold up the passport and look at the person next to it. Anyway, we handed over our two U.S. passports and the girls' Chinese passports. Stacey had one girl on her lap and I had the other on mine and the agent's booth was on my side of the van. First he looked at my passport, and confirmed the image matched my face, did the same with Stacey and then as he held up one of the girl's passports he gestured to me to see whose passport he was holding. Of course I had no idea and would not have even really been able to see the passport from that distance. A moment later he realized that he was dealing with twins who look very much alike and his whole face changed with amusement. He did not insist on matching the right passport with the right girl.
As we got out of the van at the Hong Kong airport and started to walk in we suddenly realized that it was the first time since we had arrived in Hong Kong that we did not have someone to call on if we ran into a problem. We had grown accustomed to having a personal support person, so we had to adjust!
Through our bank, we have a membership that gives us access to a limited number of airport clubs, and thankfully one of theme in Hong Kong was available to us. It was great to have a nice place to relax and have some breakfast before we got on the long flight. We found a way to push together two chairs that made somewhat of a playpen for the girls, which actually looks like a tub from the top. It was a perfect space for us to feed them and so they could relax a little without being on the floor.
We were very fortunate with the flight in that we got a bulkhead row (in the front of the cabin) and once we were in the air they put a basinet on the wall. One of the airline employees was especially helpful and she managed to relocate a few different passengers so that we had three seats to ourselves. It is actually prohibited for more than one infant to be seated in a row since for each three seats there are four oxygen masks, but with two infants on laps that makes a total of five passengers. Then you have to make tough decisions about who gets oxygen! So, we were able to sit together since there was an empty seat. Here is a photo of Clara Fen in her basinet:
Lucia Mei had a hard time sleeping, so she ended up in our arms for most of the flight. We did a lot of walking and hoping that she would relax for a little while. For the most part things were pretty good with her, but it is a rough experience to endure in any case.
Based on a suggestion from some other people returning with an adopted daughter, we got a box of chocolates to give to the flight crew when we got on to thank them in advance for their tolerance. It was amazing how thankful they were and throughout the flight they checked-in on us and frequently asked if we needed anything. They even brought us an extra basinet for the floor that turned out to be a fun place for the girls to play when they were not asleep.
The girls officially became U.S. citizens when we arrived in Chicago, so obviously we expected a big ceremony with flags and the national anthem. For the special occasion we decided it would be important to change them out of their dirty diapers before they had their magical moment. When we went to the first guard Stacey asked if we could take a picture of him - the answer was no and he let us know that we actually needed to go to another area for an interview.
We went to a desk and handed over two sealed envelopes of documents (we had been forbidden by the Consulate to look at the documents) to the border guard. He told us to go sit down. About fifteen minutes he came over to us and showed us that he had stamped the girls' passports and he said that they now were eligible for green cards, which would come in the next two weeks. We were a little dumbfounded since they are now U.S. citizens and do not need green cards. Anyway, he said he had just misspoken and everything was alright and they actually are citizens now. It made us a bit uneasy, but after so many hours of travel we decided to just move along and hope that he hadn't messed up the paperwork. We will know in a couple of weeks. But the good news is that if they do get green cards it means they will be eligible to get jobs and start to support the household.
So, in the end, the citizenship moment lacked fanfare, but it was nice to be back in the U.S. and to know that such a major portion of our trip was complete.
We had a couple of hours in the airport. I spent some of that time waiting in line for Garrett's Popcorn (they ran out of cheese popcorn, so it never worked out) and then we were ready to board the flight to DC. That 2-hour flight seemed like a blink of the eye, in comparison. Thankfully, all four of us managed to sleep most of that flight. The woman sitting next to me was very sweet and did not mind that Lucia Mei was hitting her arm early in the flight. When we were about to land I saw that Lucia's head was actually partially resting on the woman's arm and she very gently moved her arm so that she would not wake up Lucia. It was so nice.
My brother Gregory, who lives in Massachusetts, came all the way down to Maryland to help us out with getting home. He made sure the house was OK, he picked up Maggie from the kennel, bought food for us and then came to the airport with our neighbor Scott to bring us home. We needed two cars since our car is full with just the four of us now, not to mention our luggage.
The girls were in a ridiculously good mood for the ordeal they had been through. They were smiling and laughing when they met Gregory and Scott. I think we were in too much of a daze to think of taking pictures at Dulles Airport, so those moments are captured only in our memories.
Coincidence in Shamian Island
This afternoon (Tuesday 6/18) we decided to take one last little outing before our time in China comes to an end. We went to a place called Shamian Island which is a tourist destination with older hotels built in a European architectural style. Honestly, it seems like a rinky-dink area since when you walk down the street you get accosted by shop owners who all sell exactly the same stuff at "very good prices."
We only had a couple of hours before we needed to be back at our hotel to meet Kathy to get the girls' visas for travel on Wednesday. The concierge desk at our hotel helped us by giving us a card with Shamian Island written on it so we could hand it to the taxi driver. Of course, they were equally thoughtful to give us another to return to the hotel.
The taxi ride only took about 15 minutes and I guess the driver just randomly chose a place to let us off. We got a couple of sandwiches at Subway, which actually seemed like a treat at the time, and walked around for a while.
I don't know why, but we saw no less than four photo shoots in progress during the 90 minutes we were there. They all seemed a bit sketchy and we really wondered who was paying for them. Anyway, it was nice to walk around on our own.
With about 30 minutes to go before we had to get back to meet Kathy, we stopped at a hotel where there was a sign for a taxi line. The guy there told us he would help us to get a cab. While we were standing there we met a very nice woman from England who had just adopted a 2-year-old daughter. They had just been united the day before and the girl was full of silliness, running around and laughing. Probably one of the up moments in the ups and downs of getting to know one another.
Time went by and we were still waiting and waiting for a taxi. The hotel employee kept calling someone on his radio, but there were no taxis at all in the area since it was rush hour. I was getting anxious about missing our appointment with Kathy. I used the hotel business center to call our hotel to see if someone could find her to let her know we were running late. I don't know if that message ever went through.
As we were waiting there, a family arrived who were doing a "heritage tour" with their 10-year-old daughter. We ran into a number of families on such trips, but we had met this particular family when we were in Nanchang also and Stacey had spoken to them there. It was so funny to see them now in Guangzhou. Anyway, they had a guide who was helping them with their travel logistics and spoke English, so Stacey asked him about the taxi situation. He was very helpful in explaining the delay, but he also asked us about our situation.
He offered to call our hotel again to make sure they got the message and found Kathy. But then he asked us what adoption agency we were using and when we told him CCAI he said he had a phone number in his phone for someone from CCAI. It was not Kathy's, but he did call Jason and asked for him to call Kathy's cell phone with the message. Then the same guy went out and tracked down a cab that had gone by us and let passengers off at a hotel about five blocks away. He had gotten the hotel employee where we were waiting to call ahead to the security guards at the other hotel to tell them to hold the cab there for us. It was crazy, but so helpful!
Anyway, after all his assistance, Kathy knew that we were running late and thankfully it was not a problem.
Out of 1.3 billion people in China we found a person who had a number in his cell phone to get a message to the woman who was waiting for us. Amazing.
This photo has nothing to do with Shamian Island, but I know people look at this blog mostly for photos of the girls anyway.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Getting ready to leave
The girls are having their last hotel picnic for a while and despite the messy cabinet on the right we are almost packed to go. Hopefully we can all wind down for some good rest tonight before we get an early start tomorrow morning.
Monday, June 17, 2013
When will this really sink in?
Stacey and I were just talking about when it will really sink in for us that we are parents to these girls. We are very attached, proud, and beaming, but we are still building toward another relationship level. Maybe that goes on indefinitely.
Both of the girls are now congested and have been a little more cranky today, even though we had a great walk around a nearby park, which they thoroughly enjoyed. One of the factors that might be impacting them is going from the heat outside to chilly air conditioned buildings. Chances are they never experienced AC before. We are hoping they recover quickly since a cold could make for a more difficult plane ride.
It seems like the discrepancy in dates between two forms may be resolved tomorrow morning. I have to trust that is the case and we will get all of our travel documents tomorrow.
Now we just have to hope for good sleep tonight and some rest tomorrow before our travels. It is exciting to envision our home with these little girls. They will change the place for good (interpret as you will).
We took the oath
We just got back from our appointment at the U.S. Consulate. It is mainly an administrative review of paperwork, but there is also a short oath we had to take on behalf of the girls. Seems unfair they didn't have any say in the matter.
Although we have been preparing them for the U.S. history exam and English proficiency test, it turns out they do not have to take them. They will automatically become U.S. citizens when we reach soil (which I take figuratively). When we land in Chicago on Wednesday the immigration official there will be the final person to process their status.
We did learn that there is a minor issue with our paperwork since there are two documents that should have matching date but do not. Our agency says they will be able to fix the issue this afternoon so we can stay on track to get everything finalized tomorrow and leave Wednesday. It would be very disappointing if that were not the case, to say the least.
Now we have a free afternoon a meeting tomorrow morning and that should do it for us here.
A little congestion made it hard for Fen to nap in her crib, even though her mom did her best to clear it. Being held in the chair helps.
Although we have been preparing them for the U.S. history exam and English proficiency test, it turns out they do not have to take them. They will automatically become U.S. citizens when we reach soil (which I take figuratively). When we land in Chicago on Wednesday the immigration official there will be the final person to process their status.
We did learn that there is a minor issue with our paperwork since there are two documents that should have matching date but do not. Our agency says they will be able to fix the issue this afternoon so we can stay on track to get everything finalized tomorrow and leave Wednesday. It would be very disappointing if that were not the case, to say the least.
Now we have a free afternoon a meeting tomorrow morning and that should do it for us here.
A little congestion made it hard for Fen to nap in her crib, even though her mom did her best to clear it. Being held in the chair helps.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Transition of responsibility
Stacey and I were very fortunate to have great support from Evelyn while we were in Nanchang. She gave us some great advice about the girls and helped us to start the bonding process. There were times when she stepped in to help out, but for the most part she just coached us along. She was very experienced with babies in the adoption process since she has worked with our agency for a number of years.
This is a tricky relationship since, as first time parents, we were (are) learning a lot as we go. At the same time, we were with the girls 24 hrs/day and probably knew a lot more about them than anybody around us. So, the tension comes in the zone of where advice slides into imposition of ways of doing things that we would not choose. These are mostly very minor issues, but of course we feel full responsibility for the girls and while we might need to consider alternative ways of doing things we need to make the decisions.
There are two areas now where people are providing excessive advice. The first is about feeding and the second is about clothing. We frequently hear that "Chinese babies like..." or "In China we do x, y and z with our babies.
It is natural for people to want to help with their well being, but the fact that these girls were born in China does not mean that we are going to follow Chinese cultural norms in how we raise them. So, to a certain, minor extent it feels like these are our babies, but we are sharing some of the responsibility for raising them with people around us, even if it is unsolicited assistance.
This is a tricky relationship since, as first time parents, we were (are) learning a lot as we go. At the same time, we were with the girls 24 hrs/day and probably knew a lot more about them than anybody around us. So, the tension comes in the zone of where advice slides into imposition of ways of doing things that we would not choose. These are mostly very minor issues, but of course we feel full responsibility for the girls and while we might need to consider alternative ways of doing things we need to make the decisions.
There are two areas now where people are providing excessive advice. The first is about feeding and the second is about clothing. We frequently hear that "Chinese babies like..." or "In China we do x, y and z with our babies.
It is natural for people to want to help with their well being, but the fact that these girls were born in China does not mean that we are going to follow Chinese cultural norms in how we raise them. So, to a certain, minor extent it feels like these are our babies, but we are sharing some of the responsibility for raising them with people around us, even if it is unsolicited assistance.
Unexpected turns
We just returned from a group dinner with a number of other families who are adopting through our agency. It was nice to make the connections since we had only met a couple of other families in passing.
When we began this process more than seven years ago we had no idea of how it would ultimately play out. For one thing, we anticipated we would have a child in less than two years. At the time we also made a decision that has had a major impact, by deciding to indicate we would be willing to accept siblings, if available. Obviously, that has turned out to be an incredible blessing, but it was quite unexpected since it is so rare.
In speaking with other families tonight it was interesting to hear how each had a different story about how their adoption unfolded differently than expected, but also wonderfully. Many of the children who are going home this week have some health issues that will require treatment when they get home. Other families ended up adopting multiple children who were not related. In every case, it is obvious that each family feels that things have happened as they should.
It is great to see so many children going to incredible homes.
When we began this process more than seven years ago we had no idea of how it would ultimately play out. For one thing, we anticipated we would have a child in less than two years. At the time we also made a decision that has had a major impact, by deciding to indicate we would be willing to accept siblings, if available. Obviously, that has turned out to be an incredible blessing, but it was quite unexpected since it is so rare.
In speaking with other families tonight it was interesting to hear how each had a different story about how their adoption unfolded differently than expected, but also wonderfully. Many of the children who are going home this week have some health issues that will require treatment when they get home. Other families ended up adopting multiple children who were not related. In every case, it is obvious that each family feels that things have happened as they should.
It is great to see so many children going to incredible homes.
Father's Day
I want to make mention of what a wonderful father I have and how high he set the bar, along with my mother, in good parenting. I can't imagine what it was like to have five children to watch over, but they managed the challenge very well and never failed to be supportive and loving. I am grateful and I know my siblings share the sentiment.
Ancestral Temple of the Chen Family
This afternoon (Sunday), Kathy brought us to the Ancestral Temple of the Chen Family. The structure is incredible and was built in the 1890s. I was actually surprised at such a young building when others we have seen are more than 1,500 years old.
The building features crafts from the area including embroidery (which can look like photography), carved jade, porcelain and paintings. Also carved ivory, but they currently use bones for other animals for carving since ivory is banned.
It was a nice tour. From there we went to a shopping area that sells local products. We maintained restraint.
The girls did very well. They enjoy the strollers, so as long as we kept moving every once in a while they were content.
Although we still get lots of comments, people are less dumbfounded by our presence here. There are probably also more adopting families around since all U.S. families need to come through the U.S. Consulate here.
After we got back I met with Kathy to ensure all our paperwork is in order for our consulate appointment in the morning. Seems like we have all that we need. This final step feels like a big deal even though the girls are ours legally anyway.
We are going to have dinner with Kathy and some other families this evening. We have not really connected much with others, so this might be a good chance.
This is the front of the Chen Family Temple.
This is a courtyard inside the Chen Family Temple. It may be hard to see, but the carvings on the roof are very intricate.
Chen Family Temple - this is from inside the entrance looking out. The wood carvings are fantastic and the front doors are painted with scary guards to ward off evil spirits. We still managed to get by them, though.
The building features crafts from the area including embroidery (which can look like photography), carved jade, porcelain and paintings. Also carved ivory, but they currently use bones for other animals for carving since ivory is banned.
It was a nice tour. From there we went to a shopping area that sells local products. We maintained restraint.
The girls did very well. They enjoy the strollers, so as long as we kept moving every once in a while they were content.
Although we still get lots of comments, people are less dumbfounded by our presence here. There are probably also more adopting families around since all U.S. families need to come through the U.S. Consulate here.
After we got back I met with Kathy to ensure all our paperwork is in order for our consulate appointment in the morning. Seems like we have all that we need. This final step feels like a big deal even though the girls are ours legally anyway.
We are going to have dinner with Kathy and some other families this evening. We have not really connected much with others, so this might be a good chance.
This is the front of the Chen Family Temple.
This is a courtyard inside the Chen Family Temple. It may be hard to see, but the carvings on the roof are very intricate.
Chen Family Temple - this is from inside the entrance looking out. The wood carvings are fantastic and the front doors are painted with scary guards to ward off evil spirits. We still managed to get by them, though.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
We are not unpacking
We have been in Guangzhou for a little more than 24 hours now and usually with a stay this long (5 nights) Stacey and I would have our things organized and stored away in a hotel room. But we haven't done so here.
I think it is since we are anxious to move along and it just would feel more permanent if we put our clothes in the closet. Also, our room has a little bit of a mildew smell, so it is not very inviting for a long stay anyway.
I think the next few days will fly by and, as my father advises, I do not wish time away, but we are looking forward to our next destination in Silver Spring.
I think it is since we are anxious to move along and it just would feel more permanent if we put our clothes in the closet. Also, our room has a little bit of a mildew smell, so it is not very inviting for a long stay anyway.
I think the next few days will fly by and, as my father advises, I do not wish time away, but we are looking forward to our next destination in Silver Spring.
More personality observations
Stacey and I were talking about the girls early (somehow they seem to be our focus these days) and Stacey pointed out how there are some interesting dualities in their personalities.
Mei is a little shy and it takes more work to elicit a smile from her. She is pretty focused and does not necessarily initiate connections with others. She is content to sit back and observe and assess what is going on. At the same time, she is more likely than Fen to seek our affection and comforting, so she does need that interaction on a different level.
Fen is quite social and will immediately offer a smile to people nearby, assuming she is in a good mood. She laughs pretty easily and likes to be entertained and to entertain (we have a 5-minute video of her rolling around the bed blowing bubbles with her puckered lips and loving life). At the same time, she is definitely an instigator when she and Mei are near each other. She likes to reach out and pull big handfuls of Mei's hair for the entertainment value.
It is so much fun to continue to get to know them and to build our trust. A couple afternoons ago I was sitting on the bed and Mei started playing a game of sitting up and then flopping back down on my lap. Then sitting up again and doing it over. It was nice to have her feeling comfortable with that. Fen also likes to have a good cuddle, laying her head into the space where your neck and shoulder meets when she is tired.
Our refrain is "how did we get so lucky to get these two kids."
Mei is a little shy and it takes more work to elicit a smile from her. She is pretty focused and does not necessarily initiate connections with others. She is content to sit back and observe and assess what is going on. At the same time, she is more likely than Fen to seek our affection and comforting, so she does need that interaction on a different level.
Fen is quite social and will immediately offer a smile to people nearby, assuming she is in a good mood. She laughs pretty easily and likes to be entertained and to entertain (we have a 5-minute video of her rolling around the bed blowing bubbles with her puckered lips and loving life). At the same time, she is definitely an instigator when she and Mei are near each other. She likes to reach out and pull big handfuls of Mei's hair for the entertainment value.
It is so much fun to continue to get to know them and to build our trust. A couple afternoons ago I was sitting on the bed and Mei started playing a game of sitting up and then flopping back down on my lap. Then sitting up again and doing it over. It was nice to have her feeling comfortable with that. Fen also likes to have a good cuddle, laying her head into the space where your neck and shoulder meets when she is tired.
Our refrain is "how did we get so lucky to get these two kids."
Injured Parents
I did not realize how dangerous babies can be. We have sustained a number of injuries from them and they are still, relative to us, pretty small people.
Both Mei and Fen have four front teeth. Turns out that they are razor sharp and the girls love the feeling of adult flesh between them. Mei drew blood from my thumb two days ago and then somehow, as if in coordination, Fen hit exactly the same spot the following day. They especially like to do this when in the carriers. They will gently play with your hands to lull you into unawareness and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you will feel a sharp pain and realize your finger is lodged between their fangs.
Stacey has a big bruise on her bicep where one of them bit down on her.
The worst part is that they seem to be gleeful whenever they do this. The harder the bite, the more satisfying.
Nowhere in our adoption agency materials did they warn about this in any way. I am going to seek some kind of compensation.
Another Milestone
Since the girls were so tired last night, after the flight from Nanchang, they slept really well last night. In fact, we had to wake them this morning so we could get going for our appointments. Of course, that meant Stacey and I getting up at 6:00 so we could be in the hotel lobby all set to roll at 9:00.
Since they were going for a medical appointment we wanted to have them bathed before we went, so we did that and then had a fairly leisurely breakfast at the buffet in the hotel. It was a nice morning and the pacing of everything seemed pretty good.
The hotel rents out strollers, so we decided to give them a try today. Our backs had really started to take a beating from carrying them all the time. On Wednesday Evelyn arranged for a masseuse to come to the hotel room to give me a massage. It was a great massage, especially for the price, despite the fact that Mei was crying the whole time right next to me. The few other times I have gotten a massage the spas have not provided yelling babies, but it might be something to consider since it worked out OK for me. After all that, I think the massage actually just masked the pain I had in my back since she was pretty aggressive. Stacey speculated that it must be hard for men to say that a massage is too hard, especially when the person doing it is a tiny woman. That may have been part of my problem. Anyway, I am likely in better condition now having had it done.
Back to the girls - Kathy arranged for a van to drive us to a clinic where a photographer took pictures of the girls for their visas. They also did three very brief medical examinations to ensure they are fit to enter the U.S. Thankfully, I did not need to endure the same scrutiny. All went well and through a few tears the girls did very well. We were also very lucky that Kathy brought us there early so that we did not have to wait at all. When we left there were a number of adopting families waiting to go through the process.
After that, Kathy took us to a mall where there are many vendors who sell pearls, jade and other gems. This is a typical place for adopting families to visit, but apparently other families have much more disposable income than we do. Neither Stacey or I know much about pearls and we did not have in mind that we should buy any, but it seems like it is part of the experience to visit the store. The people there were very nice and the pearls were beautiful. On the more mundane side, we also went to buy diapers and wipes - that is more in line with our spending patterns at this point.
Guangzhou is a much more diverse and developed city than Nanchang. It does not have the chaotic feel that we experienced all last week and it is much cleaner and more modern, from what we have seen. You can also tell there are lots of people from all over the world, so we are less of an oddity here. I was actually starting to get offended that more people were not stopping us to comment on how unique we are. I might have developed a taste for that fame. Maybe a reality show is in order.
The hotel has a number of other adopting families, but we have not connected with anyone beyond a brief conversation. I think our experience is much different than people who adopted from China in years past when there were many more families traveling here. Our understanding is that in the past groups have spent a lot of time together and have formed close bonds. We met a family in Nanchang that told us about how their family and all these other families still get together every year, and their adoption happened about 10 years ago (they were in China this time to adopt a little boy). So far we have not made those connections, so we feel a bit isolated. We will be getting together with some other families tomorrow night for dinner, so that may be an opportunity to get to know others.
I think we are also just getting a little fatigued. We still have a pretty good setup here, but as is natural during the trajectory of a trip, there is excitement followed by fatigue and crankiness and then some more energy as the experience is coming to a close. We are in a pretty good frame of mind and not at all unhappy, but I know we are in that central zone of thinking how nice it will be to get home.
Fen showing off her four front teeth at lunch today (Saturday).
Another highchair photo of Mei smiling. Nothing puts a smile on these faces like some food.
Warning: this may be really boring.
We have had hot pots in each of our hotel rooms, and they have been indispensable. The water here is not safe to drink unless boiled, and this will do the job in about a minute. It is great for making formula since the girls are accustomed to warm bottles. But with the way they attack a bottle, I would be surprised if they were to reject one that was lukewarm.
Friday, June 14, 2013
In Guangzhou
We just arrived in Guangzhou and I am waiting on some food to take back to the hotel room. After a long day that was pretty strenuous for the girls, I am hoping they were able to stay asleep as I went in search of dinner.
Even though the trip was a little stressful, it all went smoothly. This morning we packed up our hotel room in Nanchang. That probably raised some anxiety for the girls, just as they were getting used to the setting. Evelyn brought us their Chinese passports at noon and we got in the van to the airport at 3:00. That left us with more than two hours to kill at the airport, but better that way than being rushed.
It was sad saying goodbye to Evelyn since she was the person who ultimately brought us together with the girls and helped us through our first week. All with good humor and patience.
Our new guide, Kathy, seems equally kind and energetic. She gave us a very warm welcome at the Guangzhou airport, including assisting to clean up Mei who was pretty stinky by the time we landed.
Both of the girls did fine on the flight. Unfortunately, we could not sit in the same row since airplanes provide four oxygen masks for each three passengers. With two infants on our laps, that makes it five people for four masks - that would not be good. Anyway, all went well even with some minor squawking.
I was about at the end of my rope, though, when we got to the hotel. Fen was strapped to my chest and had been for about six hours and she was crying. I was trying to get things squared away for check-in and there was just a lot of commotion in general.
Now, back in the room, Stacey and I have eaten and the girls are sound asleep.
Tomorrow we have an appointment at the U.S. Consulate to get Mei and Fen photographed for their visas. Even though they will be sworn in as citizens before we leave China, they will not yet have U.S. passports and therefore need the visas. We also need to bring them for a medical examination in the morning - another visa requirement.
Each of the days until we leave has been scheduled. Looks like we will have some free time, but much of the week will be busy.
Here we are in the Nanchang Airport, about to head to Guangzhou on Friday afternoon.
A loaded backpack served as a good counterbalance to a rotund Fen.
Poor Mei had a rough start to her Guangzhou visit. Stacey and Kathy got her cleaned up quickly. She was not happy.
Even though the trip was a little stressful, it all went smoothly. This morning we packed up our hotel room in Nanchang. That probably raised some anxiety for the girls, just as they were getting used to the setting. Evelyn brought us their Chinese passports at noon and we got in the van to the airport at 3:00. That left us with more than two hours to kill at the airport, but better that way than being rushed.
It was sad saying goodbye to Evelyn since she was the person who ultimately brought us together with the girls and helped us through our first week. All with good humor and patience.
Our new guide, Kathy, seems equally kind and energetic. She gave us a very warm welcome at the Guangzhou airport, including assisting to clean up Mei who was pretty stinky by the time we landed.
Both of the girls did fine on the flight. Unfortunately, we could not sit in the same row since airplanes provide four oxygen masks for each three passengers. With two infants on our laps, that makes it five people for four masks - that would not be good. Anyway, all went well even with some minor squawking.
I was about at the end of my rope, though, when we got to the hotel. Fen was strapped to my chest and had been for about six hours and she was crying. I was trying to get things squared away for check-in and there was just a lot of commotion in general.
Now, back in the room, Stacey and I have eaten and the girls are sound asleep.
Tomorrow we have an appointment at the U.S. Consulate to get Mei and Fen photographed for their visas. Even though they will be sworn in as citizens before we leave China, they will not yet have U.S. passports and therefore need the visas. We also need to bring them for a medical examination in the morning - another visa requirement.
Each of the days until we leave has been scheduled. Looks like we will have some free time, but much of the week will be busy.
Here we are in the Nanchang Airport, about to head to Guangzhou on Friday afternoon.
A loaded backpack served as a good counterbalance to a rotund Fen.
Poor Mei had a rough start to her Guangzhou visit. Stacey and Kathy got her cleaned up quickly. She was not happy.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Our last day in Nanchang
We have had breakfast in the beautiful hotel restaurant and are packing our bags to depart Nanchang this afternoon. Evelyn should be here in a while with the girls' passports. Hopefully that goes smoothly.
It has been difficult to get a real sense for this city. It is a mixture of ancient buildings and areas and at the same time the level of development is crazy.
This photo encapsulates some of that. In the foreground there is a manicured parking lot for our hotel, the Crowne Plaza. Across the street, to the right, is a building that is in pretty rough shape. I think the field across the way had been homes until recently, but most of them have been razed to build new structures. Off in the distance is the skyline of the "new city" which did not exist at all 11 years ago. On one side of our hotel you can see this scene. On the other there are two high end restaurants that have Bentleys, Audis, BMWs, etc parked in front.
Evelyn tells us that in general the standard of living has improved dramatically during the past 20 years. Hopefully it evens out a little and the impoverished areas can begin to prosper.
Finally, what is amazing to me is that almost nobody I have spoken with about our trip here has ever heard of Nanchang, which has more than 4 million inhabitants. It just blends into the many huge cities here.
Bonding
It is nice to see that the girls are really beginning to bond with us. I suspect they still miss their foster mother some, but they turn to us for comfort now when something is scary or strangers in the park are too intrusive.
When we were first matched with the girls we sent a package to the orphanage with two stuffed animals, a photo album of us, our house, and Maggie and we also put in two disposable cameras. The photos are being developed, so we are excited to have photos of the girls where they were living before and possibly of their foster mom.
Although the transition would be difficult for anyone, I believe the love they got there must have helped them be able to bond well. It is so nice to have them more comfortable with us. Of course, there are also plenty of moments where they act like we are the most terrible people in the world. For now that comes at predictable times, but surely they will soon learn the power of doing that in public.
It has not been without bumps, but we have been incredibly fortunate so far.
Here is Fen with a smile.
Here is Mei looking quite happy.
Today (Thursday) Evelyn brought us to another beautiful park and a Buddhist temple. In this photo we are standing on a bridge in the park. The weather was beautiful and the girls were happy to be outside for an excursion, as were we.
This is the front of the Buddhist temple. It was first built 1,600 years ago. The colors are vibrant.
Most of the photos I took are with my other camera. The temple has many Buddhas in different sections of the temple, which has one chamber after another going back, so you can walk through one to get to another.
I was thankful to have Evelyn to give us some of the history and help us avoid anything that would be inadvertently disrespectful. I only wanted to be intentionally offensive.
In the main area of the temple where there is a beautiful standing bronze Buddha, which has been recently gilded with gold, you can make special requests to the Buddha. As is the practice, we wrote out our wish which, of course, is for Mei and Fen to have health and happiness in their new family and for their biological family to be at peace. I hope somehow their biological family could know they are going to be well care for and loved. I am sure the loss of these precious girls must be something they will carry with them always.
There was a little place for people to feed fish. As you can see, the fish are piled up trying to get the food. The water is pretty dirty, so it doesn't seem like a wonderful existence.
In the park we came across this pavilion where two men were playing erhus and a woman was singing in a traditional operatic style.
Here are Stacey, Evelyn and Fen.
In the park we saw a number of older men practicing calligraphy. The man in the baseball cap holding something green was doing it here. They use water, so by the time he had gotten to where he was when I took the photo, the first characters he wrote had already begun to evaporate and disappear. According to Evelyn, few people in the younger generations practice calligraphy.
This park and many others are filled with people dancing and exercising. There are places where they have music for either ballroom or group dancing. Obviously, this was ballroom style. Even on a Thursday morning the park was very busy with lots of people, especially retirees.
Another group of women give us advice/opinions. The woman in the blue sweater has on a sequin dress and took a break from her ballroom dancing to check us out.
This is a typical reaction to seeing us. The woman is pointing at Fen. Maybe saying how beautiful, pointing out there are twins, or commenting that we should have their legs covered. We had a sizable crowd around us at one point today. I took photos with our other camera and some video. Should be nice to show the girls someday how much people were interested in them and wished them well.
Update from Thursday, June 13
We had another very nice day today. In the morning Evelyn took us to another park where we walked around for a long time. It was a great place to people-watch and to get a sense of some cultural differences. You can tell that people here are much more comfortable with shared space versus our desire for individual space.
Tomorrow is our last day in Nanchang. Just a minute ago Stacey and I realized it has been a full week since we met the girls. I don't know if it feels like a short or long time. It has been really hard to keep track of time here since our schedules are so completely different. Probably the best way to describe it would be a blur.
Although we have been very lucky to be staying at a great hotel and in a very comfortable environment, it is nice to have this leg of the trip coming to an end. I think we are all anxious to get home (Mei and Fen may think this is our home) soon, but tomorrow afternoon we will fly to Guangzhou to complete the process at the U.S. Consulate there. Before we depart Nanchang tomorrow, we will receive their Chinese passports, which will serve as their travel documents for this trip.
As we have spent time here in Nanchang, we have thought about ways in which we can help the girls get a sense of what their birthplace was like. Although it will take a lot of imagination when they are ready, we have taken lots of photos. We also received photos today that include images of their foster mother and father. It is clear that there was a lot of affection from them to the girls. Including Mei and Fen, the couple has fostered 24 children who have all been adopted.
Hopefully the girls will have some appreciation for this place, even though they will not have the experience of growing up here or being part of the culture.
On a more concrete note, I think I am beginning to relax a little as child/children management is becoming a little clearer. Even though it has just been a week, it makes it easier to imagine the future.
I have to go to bed, so I will stop writing now, but I will say that there are very few days that I would consider very good that started with someone pooping on my bare foot. In fact, today might be the only one (so far).
When we were first matched with the girls we sent a package to the orphanage with two stuffed animals, a photo album of us, our house, and Maggie and we also put in two disposable cameras. The photos are being developed, so we are excited to have photos of the girls where they were living before and possibly of their foster mom.
Although the transition would be difficult for anyone, I believe the love they got there must have helped them be able to bond well. It is so nice to have them more comfortable with us. Of course, there are also plenty of moments where they act like we are the most terrible people in the world. For now that comes at predictable times, but surely they will soon learn the power of doing that in public.
It has not been without bumps, but we have been incredibly fortunate so far.
Here is Fen with a smile.
Here is Mei looking quite happy.
Today (Thursday) Evelyn brought us to another beautiful park and a Buddhist temple. In this photo we are standing on a bridge in the park. The weather was beautiful and the girls were happy to be outside for an excursion, as were we.
This is the front of the Buddhist temple. It was first built 1,600 years ago. The colors are vibrant.
Most of the photos I took are with my other camera. The temple has many Buddhas in different sections of the temple, which has one chamber after another going back, so you can walk through one to get to another.
I was thankful to have Evelyn to give us some of the history and help us avoid anything that would be inadvertently disrespectful. I only wanted to be intentionally offensive.
In the main area of the temple where there is a beautiful standing bronze Buddha, which has been recently gilded with gold, you can make special requests to the Buddha. As is the practice, we wrote out our wish which, of course, is for Mei and Fen to have health and happiness in their new family and for their biological family to be at peace. I hope somehow their biological family could know they are going to be well care for and loved. I am sure the loss of these precious girls must be something they will carry with them always.
There was a little place for people to feed fish. As you can see, the fish are piled up trying to get the food. The water is pretty dirty, so it doesn't seem like a wonderful existence.
In the park we came across this pavilion where two men were playing erhus and a woman was singing in a traditional operatic style.
Here are Stacey, Evelyn and Fen.
In the park we saw a number of older men practicing calligraphy. The man in the baseball cap holding something green was doing it here. They use water, so by the time he had gotten to where he was when I took the photo, the first characters he wrote had already begun to evaporate and disappear. According to Evelyn, few people in the younger generations practice calligraphy.
This park and many others are filled with people dancing and exercising. There are places where they have music for either ballroom or group dancing. Obviously, this was ballroom style. Even on a Thursday morning the park was very busy with lots of people, especially retirees.
Another group of women give us advice/opinions. The woman in the blue sweater has on a sequin dress and took a break from her ballroom dancing to check us out.
This is a typical reaction to seeing us. The woman is pointing at Fen. Maybe saying how beautiful, pointing out there are twins, or commenting that we should have their legs covered. We had a sizable crowd around us at one point today. I took photos with our other camera and some video. Should be nice to show the girls someday how much people were interested in them and wished them well.
Update from Thursday, June 13
We had another very nice day today. In the morning Evelyn took us to another park where we walked around for a long time. It was a great place to people-watch and to get a sense of some cultural differences. You can tell that people here are much more comfortable with shared space versus our desire for individual space.
Tomorrow is our last day in Nanchang. Just a minute ago Stacey and I realized it has been a full week since we met the girls. I don't know if it feels like a short or long time. It has been really hard to keep track of time here since our schedules are so completely different. Probably the best way to describe it would be a blur.
Although we have been very lucky to be staying at a great hotel and in a very comfortable environment, it is nice to have this leg of the trip coming to an end. I think we are all anxious to get home (Mei and Fen may think this is our home) soon, but tomorrow afternoon we will fly to Guangzhou to complete the process at the U.S. Consulate there. Before we depart Nanchang tomorrow, we will receive their Chinese passports, which will serve as their travel documents for this trip.
As we have spent time here in Nanchang, we have thought about ways in which we can help the girls get a sense of what their birthplace was like. Although it will take a lot of imagination when they are ready, we have taken lots of photos. We also received photos today that include images of their foster mother and father. It is clear that there was a lot of affection from them to the girls. Including Mei and Fen, the couple has fostered 24 children who have all been adopted.
Hopefully the girls will have some appreciation for this place, even though they will not have the experience of growing up here or being part of the culture.
On a more concrete note, I think I am beginning to relax a little as child/children management is becoming a little clearer. Even though it has just been a week, it makes it easier to imagine the future.
I have to go to bed, so I will stop writing now, but I will say that there are very few days that I would consider very good that started with someone pooping on my bare foot. In fact, today might be the only one (so far).
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Today (Wednesday), Evelyn took us to a large city park in the afternoon after we had noodles and dumplings for lunch. The girls' pose is becoming pretty common, hanging off us. They actually really enjoy those rides. The park is decorated for a children's festival.
Here is a little river that runs through the park. It may not be visible, but the boats pictured are painted like little cars. There is also a place for little kids, with parents' help, to rent little electric cars that go just slightly faster than walking pace. I would have loved that as a kid and almost wanted to rent one today. All of the other customers are in the 5-8 year-old range, so that could have been awkward. But you can get away with a lot when you are a clueless foreigner with odd customs.
Here are Stacey, Mei and Evelyn in the park. I have a photo on my other camera of an exercise area where people of all ages go to use some basic outdoor fitness equipment. There, and a couple other times today, people commented that the girls were going into the honey pot, meaning that they will have a sweet life with us. People ask Evelyn lots of questions about us and almost always seem very pleased. Sometimes we need to kind of wander away from these encounters or we would never get back to our hotel.
This is the aftermath of lots of exciting activity this morning (Wednesday). Unfortunately, sleep was not so easy for anyone this evening. Lucia Mei was especially upset. They are both teething and that can be no fun at times. They finally got to sleep after a great deal of work, mainly by Stacey, and hopefully will be able to sleep well through the night.
The girls love to roll around on the bed. They generally wake up in a good mood, so this is a good way to start the day.
Breakfast is messy, but that is part of enjoying noodles. This is Fen.
Mei is also a big noodle fan!
Evelyn brought us to a restaurant for lunch today. The girls enjoyed it and the food was really good. Dumplings, beef and greens, banana pancakes and rice. The wait staff paid lot of attention to the girls and were tolerant of the disaster zone we left behind.
After having lunch (on Tuesday) we went to a bazaar to buy a couple of outfits for the girls. The street was jammed with people, cars and motorcycles going in all directions. In addition to street vendors, we went into an enormous building full of little stalls with vendors. There had to be thousands. It was packed with people and in addition to the chaos it was really dark and there were piles of trash from discarded lunches in the walkways. It was high stimulation for all of us. When we went to higher floors it was a bit calmer and we found some clothes that will work for the girls.
Here is inside the bazaar in one of the calmer areas.
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